False hope

Orginally written last December.

 

Dear Diary,

 

What hurts the most is living in a fantasy full of hopes, building impossible dreams, being with the UNTOUCHABLE people you love to be with, getting all you want and being in a world where you won’t get hurt and rejected but you know that those are things that so impossible to happen; even a tiny chance, those hopes have no knowable chance of coming to fruition; and that sucks!

It’s so hard to be happy when you know you’ll hurt someone because of your happiness. But what will you choose if you’re at my place? Self-happiness? Or  would you  rather let others be happy even if it means killing your own happiness? I don’t want to give someone false hopes because I know how it feels to be blinded by those fantasy hopes.

I don’t know what to feel. I hate talking about it. I am so scared to face it that any moment from now I would rather choose to run away from making those decisions than choosing an option.

Anyway, I still have time to think. I’ll leave it here as of now but be right back when I have a peace of mind.

PS. Thank you for being always there.

In Dilemma,

SuperAnj

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