Archive for regrets


Posted in Writings with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2013 by nursemihoko

We think about tomorrow when today hasn’t even finished yet. We plan our future like we’re sure we will have one; we don’t live day by day. Yes, we might stand up everyday and fall onto our bed after school/work, but we never really stop to notice what is around us. We live like life is something regular, but it isn’t  Too often we forget how fragile it is; how we can die any minute.What if I wake up tomorrow and I forget to even notice how lucky I am? People die in their sleep sometimes. I walk downstairs and I could have fallen to my death there. I eat my bread with no worries on how I could choke and, yes, maybe die. I will run to catch my bus. It will be a regular day; which means I will survive. Once surviving is no longer regular everyday, you have to start fighting for every tomorrow. What I’m trying to say is that you can die everyday; maybe of a heart attack, or get hit by a car, or maybe about a thousand other possibilities. Humans die every second. Who gives you the assurance you’re not one of them today? Tomorrow? Next week? I don’t want you to wake up everyday and be happy and enjoy the day, because we can’t. I don’t try and tell you to appreciate it more, and to tell yourself this everyday. I want you to stop sometimes, and look at what is around you, and be thankful for your existence. We want to wake up and enjoy the day like it’s our last, but we’re only humans. We forget. You could try to remind yourself, but that will only work for a few days. Maybe writing it on a piece of paper and sticking it on your wall will remind you more often. Tattoo it, then you could remember it for a few months; but, with time we forget. It gets usual. You don’t look at that paper on your wall the same. You don’t notice it anymore. You don’t read your tattoo anymore because it became only black ink on your wrists. No, we can’t appreciate our existence everyday, but we can sometimes stop and look around. Inhale the atmosphere because we never know if we are inhaling it for the last time. My biggest fear is that one day I will be laying on the ground bleeding, knowing I’m going to die. I will die with thousands of words that should have been said, with hugs that I gave daily, but now the unattainable wish of just having one more hug; no longer possible because that person isn’t here and you’re going to be away forever. I don’t want to die full of regrets, with things running in my head of what I should have done differently; where I just would have been a bit less stubborn, or how I’ve never told the boy how I really felt, or maybe how I will miss the summer light that filters through the leaves of the trees. The simplest things will become the most precious ones. We will, and that makes life so precious… never knowing when your journey ends. All we can do is stopsometimes and inhale what is around us, and hope we learn to appreciate it enough


Expectations lead to disappointments..

Posted in MY RANDOM FEELINGS, MY RANDOM THOUGHTS with tags , , , , , , on November 7, 2012 by nursemihoko

I just want to share my disappointments here. I am so sad that I don’t know what to do anymore. I was so happy with the thought that one thing in my past was recovered but then after a day of using it, t’was gone again. I’ve tried, and tried… but I guess, I am just too fool to believe that I will keep it forever this time. Sigh. Why do things come back when you’re already happy and fine?!  Seriously, I don’t get it! 😦